Facade

I believe I don't deserve to be loved.
But can you really blame me for having that thought?

Every single moment of my life, I am told what I can be, what I might be, what I will be. What about the me that is here right now?

I am something right now, right here. But people never see your presence. They see your absence, so they have something to talk about.

Consider a class, for example. The teacher never tells a student, 'Oh, you're present.' It's always, ' why were you absent? '

Actually. It's not even the absence that matters. It's the reason for absence.

No one cares if you were absent because you were sick. But tell them it's a personal reason and suddenly they are all ears.

Pretending to care.

How easy it is to pretend nowadays!

Make-up. Emojis. LIES.

It's all very easy to hide your true self.

Maybe I could be loved too. If I put on a fake layer of make-up and 'lol' emojis and cover it all up with lies.

Maybe I could be loved too. If I demanded it, and fought for it and snatched it when it's being given to someone else.

But I can't. And that's just who I am.

Maybe someday, someone will read this, nodding at each sentence and care to know me before I lose myself.