Gone...

Do you ever have those moments where you feel like you don't belong anywhere?

Like you are just existing because you don't see any other option...
Like you are just living because you aren't dead...
Like all your organs have failed to fill your body and it's still somewhat empty... ?

It's a feeling. Neither good nor bad. It's a kind of numbness. A really loud numbness. Silence that screams in your ears. Darkness that consumes your heart.

The worst part is that you can feel this happening in slow motion.

Picture yourself sitting in a bathtub. The bathroom is dark except for the candle burning in the stand beside you. You are holding a glass of poisonous blood red wine. And you are drinking it. Sip by sip. Savouring its bitter sweet taste until there's no more left and the candle is out.

And then you slowly feel your death approaching. Coming to visit you like a guest. And you're not protesting a single bit. Instead you open the door for this guest with a smile.

Your eyelids get heavy and you slowly close them and fall into a deep slumber. Your body still submerged in the water. Absorbing the life leaving your body.

And then you're gone.

Just gone...